Monday, June 6, 2011

Satan in Suburbia

Here's another story I wrote, tell me how you all like it.

     It sure was an unusual day in Adamsville when Satan moved to town. There was a rather mixed reaction among the residents. Some were furious that the Smiths sold their home to the devil, others were just happy that they didn’t sell their souls to the devil, and then there were some who thought that the community should be open to anybody, even the prince of darkness himself.
     Those that were against him pondered the best way to get him to leave town. Some suggested personally asking him to find somewhere else to move to, but the majority thought that would be too simple. They needed something else to get him to leave, like a petition signed by most of the community, or a crucifix and some holy water. Eventually, they settled on the idea of sending an old-fashioned mob after him, but when they got to his house, he was sitting there on his front porch, with a cigarette in his mouth, waiting with his own pitchfork and torch. The mob was surprised that he’d try to fight back and just kind of scattered, it seemed that nobody else was actually planning on fighting that night.
     The next day, Father Murphy went to the house to see what he could do. Old Father Murphy had performed his fair share of exorcisms back in the day, so he was the community’s best hope for driving the demon out of that house. When the priest knocked on the door, Lucifer came and answered, sighed, and then shut the door in his face. The priest stood there on the lawn, performing his exorcism ritual for the next four hours. The devil came outside with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses, sat on his porch, filled the two glasses, lit up a cigarette, and asked Father Murphy if he’d like a drink. Defeated, the old priest sat down and had a drink with him. They ended up having a nice, civilized discussion, and the would-be exorcist left convinced that the devil’s presence would not pose a direct threat to the community. It was clear that the town’s newest resident was here to stay, and nobody’s really tried to bother him since then.
     He keeps to himself mostly, works nine to five, just like everybody else. On the weekends, you’ll usually see him working in his yard, occasionally enjoying a few nice beverages. On a nice night you’ll see him outside cooking up something on the grill. He never does anything out of the ordinary that you’d expect from the devil. He’s generally becoming a friendlier neighbor now. When the neighborhood boys ask him if he can get their ball from his yard, he’ll actually give them the ball most of the time instead of just incinerating it right in front of them. He’s pretty easy to hold a conversation with – a really interesting guy – but he doesn’t really like to talk about his work much, mostly because that always leads people to ask about Jesus, and he really hates talking about that guy.
     Everybody wonders how having Beelzebub in our neighborhood will affect us, and what kind of influence he’ll have on our kids. He hasn’t done any harm to the community so far, and I don’t think that there’s much to worry about. He’s the type of guy who doesn’t really like taking his work home with him. The other night when the Jacobson kids thought they’d try to be cool and play their angry devil music as loud as they could, he personally went over there and asked them to turn down that awful, offensive racket. He’s not really that much unlike us, just a busy guy looking for a quiet life in the suburbs.

18 comments:

  1. wow pretty deep... didnt think you could write this well :D now im checking more often!

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  2. This. Wow, I love this c:
    Its a very unexpected read.

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  3. It was entertaining, sorry I don't have tips or a better critic, I'm not a litterature buff.

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  4. I guess soon you'll be a famous writer. Keep up the good work!

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  5. That was a pretty good story. :D you're skilled.

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  6. Haha, an interesting parody.

    People seem to think that Beelzebub takes some ultimate pleasure in teasing and tormenting souls, but this makes him seem more like some pencil pusher, frustrated as the rest of us.

    Good stuff, man.

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  7. love your blog, man! good stuff... followed!

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  8. interesting story, somehow!
    keep it up, nice blog!

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  9. intresting story and i can't say that i didn't like it

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  10. Very surreal. I know it's only a (very) short story, but could be a great story once it's fleshed out more.

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  11. Gosh, religion is confusing.

    Great story tho!

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  12. Nice story, I've never really read anything depicting the devil as an ordinary nice guy who lives among us. good read

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  13. Great story, liked it ! Followed !

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  14. A little surreal, but alright.

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